You want to hear something silly? The idea of heaven used to make me nervous. Strange, right?
It wasn't that I was nervous about dying, or being with Jesus. The simple truth is that I was anxious about what we're going to do with all of that time. Eternity is a long time to fill up with things to do.
But then I have nights like I did earlier this week. Despite my tired body, my mind was vehemently awake, searching for something, anything to think about; flipping through all of my thoughts like an outdated library cataloging system.
I don't want to think of these things. I don't want to think of anything. I want to go to sleep.
Then earlier this morning I pondered it. Perhaps there's not only a God-shaped vacuum in our hearts but one in our minds as well. Anywhere you look you can see people desperately scrolling through their Instagram and Facebook feeds, desperate to fill it with knowledge and meaning. Our minds need a stimulation that can't be met on a pixelated screen, or a stock exchange report, or gossip with friends. They need the unfathomable depth of an infinite God.
Do you remember the bittersweet moment that would happen with your best set of friends in college, late into the night? Where you didn't want the night to stop. You didn't want to have to sleep. You wanted to soak up the feeling of being together forever.
Forever.
And there it is. The vanishing of my anxiety. The end of night. And the beginning of the rest of eternity, in the mansion that God has prepared for me, overflowing with Him. For my heart. And my head.